A Quick Beginner's Guide to Anime Editing
v 1.0

--By SilentMoon

0. Introduction

There is more to editing than a basic spelling and grammar check. This might sound obvious to some -- and in that case you are already on the right path to become a good editor :) -- but it doesn't hurt to repeat it. So what else is there? In the following paragraphs I'll try to sum up each aspect of what I think is important for every editor to keep in mind, illustrating with examples from an imaginary Saiyuki dialogue. The points I try to make might be easier to grasp if you have some level of familiarity with the series. Here is it in its unedited version:

1. Make it smooth

As an editor, your job is essentially to turn the roughly etched script from your translator into a fine ciselled English (or any other language of your chosing) screenplay. Obviously this can be made a lot easier depending on your translator's command of the language and/or level of self-inflicted nitpicking. Ideally though, the translator will try to convey as much meaning as he can, often resulting in barbaric-looking sentences influenced by the original Japanese structure. It is then up to you to find the right wording which will make it sound right while retaining the original meaning.

In other words: You are expected to change a few words, or even the whole sentence structure.

Use with reason though, and see point 4. when unsure.
In particular, don't hesitate to use any native idiom you think might fit nicely. Many japanese idioms have adequate counterparts in English, and it would be a waste to let them pass.
Also very important is the punctuation. Don't be afraid to use comas and exclamation marks to give your sentences a little rythm. Try to avoid the multiple exclamation marks though... It can very easily make your script look like an AOL messenger conversation with your 12 year old sister. You really don't want that.
Thus in our example, the first line from Goku really doesn't sound right.

"Envision" is not a very happy word. Many people are not used to using it and will have to read it twice (always remember that your audience potentially contains a good share of kids). Furthermore, the flow of the sentence is weird with that "to get out of here" part in the beginning. It might be too close to the original japanese structure. This next version already sounds much better:

However your job doesn't end at making each sentence correct; you also have to consider the flow of the whole script. Once you think you've found a good way to render a line, play it again with its surrounding lines. As a rule of thumb, you should try to avoid repetitions (unless they are obviously present in the original japanese script), as well as long and convoluted sentences. Taking our example:

Both lines end with the exact same words... it really sounds awkward. Japanese does have a tendency to repeat the subject of conversation, but it doesn't work as well in English. In that case, you're allowed to try and work around it. For example, the following is acceptable:

You're not depriving the dialogue of any meaning, as it is very clear what "that" is refering to. You also shortened the line a bit, and that is always a good thing. Less time spent reading is more time to look at the pretty pictures. :)

2. Respect individual speech patterns

Now that one is a bit more tricky. It supposes that you have a good understanding of how each character is supposed to talk, of their personality. At the beginning of a series, this point should be discussed at length between the editor and the translator, who can best describe how each character sounds in Japanese and what feeling it gives. It is then up to the editor to figure out how to render it in English. Then, throughout the whole series, you will have to pay attention to consistency: a character who's been talking like an english lord up till now is not supposed to suddenly start cussing or calling people "buddy", unless a good explaination is provided by the plot. Inversely, two characters who obviously don't talk in the same manner at all should not be given similar speech patterns.

In our example, the four characters definitely don't have the same pattern. Goku generally talks like a kid, with a limited vocabulary and simple structures. Sanzo and Gojyo are somewhat similar, in the sense that they can both use elaborated sentences but with a potentially very familiar tone. Hakkai, at last, is almost always very polite and refined.
You can see we have a problem here. That first line from Goku is definitely too complex for him. Inversely, Hakkai's line sounds way too familiar, and Gojyo's line not enough. We propose:

3. Make the subtitles readable

This part has in fact more to do with timing and styling than editing, but it's still your job to point out to the timer or typesetter what really needs changing.

In our example, Hakkai's line is way too long. It contains four separate sentences and easily takes up 3 or maybe even 4 lines on the screen, making it very annoying. As a general rule, you'll want to avoid having more than two lines of text simultaneously on the screen. Also count about 1 second spent reading each line, with a fraction of a second lost between each line.
Hakkai generally speaks rather slowly, so chances are the whole thing lasts for more than 5 seconds at least (verify with the raw video file). In this case, we're just going to split the line in two, like this:

and make a note for the timer to retime this particular spot (or do it yourself, if you are able).
Inversely, it can happen that you will want to regroup several short lines into a single one -- typically, this happens with short exclamations like: "Uhh... But! I thought!...". In that case feel free to make the modifications to the script yourself.

Another point is the matter of translator notes. It is customary in fansubs to have small notes explaining various points of specific knowledge flash on the screen when the viewer can't be expected to know about them. In our case, one could decide that the general audience doesn't know what "miso soup" is. After eventually consulting with the translator, we would then add a line to the script like this:

The resulting line will later be timed to match the dialogue, and generally styled so that it appears on top of the screen, often in a different font.

4. Consult with the translator

At the end of your first pass of editing, there should be at least a few points on which you weren't able to decide by yourself. Either the original meaning was not clear enough, or you think you may have spotted something in the dialogue that wasn't put in the translation, or again you're not sure whether what you're proposing for one particular line is not straying too far from the original meaning.
In any case, you're supposed to make a list of all those things with a time reference, and submit it back to the translator with precise questions for them to answer. Don't go deciding by yourself! There's a reason why you're the editor and they're the translator. Even if you're sure, it never hurts to ask for a second opinion. ;)

In our example, one could wonder if Goku's last line is really accurate. The question sent back to the translator would then look like this:

Once the translator has answered, or even better once you've discussed the point directly, make up your mind and come up with the best phrasing. :)

5. Different styles of editing

And now for my last trick... Forget everything I said!

Nah, not really... However, it's good to be aware that there are several rather different schools of editing. In SpA, we tend to stick to the original japanese meaning as much as we can, sometimes to the cost of a little stiffness in dialogues. But you will also find fansubs where the flow of sentences in English is sometimes given more weight than detailed accuracy. There is no right answer, of course, and you will have to make some compromises at some point. However, the style of editing you adopt should be decided in concertation with the whole team, and especially the translator. You must make sure until which point they are ready to accept your deviations from their original translation. On the other hand, the translator must be ready to accept or at least consider even heavy changes from the editor.

Just make sure this is clear from the beginning to avoid trouble later on. ;)